sock varnish

sock varnish crimes

Hey, it's evening. That means Palinode and Schmutzie ain't doing nothing. Nothing. But the television's on. Palinode enters the living room through the hole in the wall.

Palinode: What are you watching?

Schmutzie: Law and Order SVU.

Palinode: Oh yeah. Law and Order. Sock... Varnishing... Unit.


Schmutzie: That's my favourite one of all.

Palinode: Every week? There's a crime at the sock varnishing factory.

Schmutzie: Mariska Hargitay plays a hot sock varnishing investigator.

Palinode: I love it when they say "Let's check out the sock varnishing factory" and there's that dun-dun sound? In the first half of the show they track down the criminal, then they go to the sock varnish prosecutor and his brunette assistant.

Schmutzie: If the formula works, why mess with it?

Palinode: And it's always ethically complicated. For the factory floor workers, for management, for the cops and prosecutors, and especially for the customers.

Schmutzie: I feel bad for the customers.

Palinode: They're trying to slip on a new pair of socks and Wham! varnish. That's the real crime.

Schmutzie: These are their stories.