Dear fish: how are you? I am fine. If I had to guess, I'd say you're not as fine. At one time you flapped your fins through water, but somehow you ended up in a Russian deli, smoked for consumption and arranged on a platter. Then I reinterpreted you into a two-dimensional image. So now you lead two lives, as edible objects and an array of pixels. Your second life will roll on through the universe, an electromagnetic wave forever cresting and occasionally resolving into a recognizable picture when it hits a computer. Not what you expected when you got up this morning. Or whenever the last morning of your life was.
Dear plant: Look at you, stuck in that concrete planter. You're probably wondering where all the other plants are. It's like you've been set adrift in a little raft and now you're afloat on an ocean without end. The ocean is stillness. You are a plant. Make the best of it.