Vampire Diaries

In response to the disappointment expressed by certain people that my piece “Wings: A Vampire Diairies Fan Fiction” wasn’t actually Wings fanfic, here’s my grand mashup of the two shows.

Vampire Diaries: A Wings Fan Fiction

One morning Joe Hackett came into work at Sandpiper Air and noticed that none of the charter flights were operating. Also, everything was covered in blood. People were scattered around the area in grotesque poses, propped up like hellish dolls or draped over the snack bar. Everyone looked pretty dead.

“What the hell,” said Joe.

“We opened up a new route to Mystic Falls Regional Airport,” said his brother Brian, who was looking suspiciously pale beneath the deep coppery smelling smears of blood that seemed to cover his skin like ancient scales. Twin candles of eldritch light flickered palely from the caverns of his eyes. “It’s a regular route, but we effectively opened a portal from Sandpiper Air to the gates of Hell.”

A mild laugh percolated through the departure lounge.

“Must be, what, full of vampires?” said Joe.

“Just chock-a-block with them,” Brian confirmed. He raked his fingers through his hair until some of the dried blood flaked away. “Anyway I’m a vampire too now and I’ve got to pilot a flight to Boston. Do I look good to go? I’ve got a hot date tonight with a girl from the Boston Symphony Orchestra. She’s a flautist, Joe.”

He gave his brother a playful nudge on the shoulder. Robust laughter sounded.

“I told you there were vampires in Massachussetts,” said Antonio, walking in from the left. Applause and cheers filled the air.

Joe rubbed his eyes. “Okay,” he said, “I have fucking had it with the mysterious laughter. Who in the ever-living fuck is doin