Hey folks! Pack your bags, because you’ve booked a flight... to Flavour Country!
Did you get your passport renewed? Because you’re on your way... to Flavour Country!
How about your visa? Flavour Country requires a visa for entry from approximately 70 countries! Make sure to apply at least 90 days before your departure date!
Don’t worry about the fact that you’re surrounded by high walls topped with razor wire and manned by armed guards… in Flavour Country! This is simply a precaution against rebels.
Stick with your guide when you leave the designated tourist areas (please refer to your guide books for approved Tasty Zone areas) when you’re in Flavour Country! Citizens of Flavour Country are the friendliest people in the world, but sometimes poverty and desperation can drive good people into committing terrible acts.
When in doubt remember this simple motto: Don’t do anything to get your organs harvested in Flavour Country!
Did you hear the story about the guy who took a photo of Flavour Country's Royal Guard and is still languishing in prison? Well you can meet him in person! Just take the wrong picture or talk to the wrong person or approach the Royal Palace... for any reason! Slowly forget your own name in a tiny cell underneath the Ministry of Finger Licking Goodness!
Endless blasted landscapes of raw earth and industrial tailings. Mile after mile a zone of death, the grim horizon unspooling a scorched and necrotic countryside like an ancient acetate print of Hell itself. And to your left you'll see Flavour Country!
Folks, this is your Captain speaking. We’ve begun our final descent into Flavour Country. Flight attendants. Flight attendants. Crosscheck please will you. Will you crosscheck please. Your Captain. The flavour is