Predicting the future

[Night. The distaff side of time. Stray dogs crouching in the bushes, the moon bellied out like a spinnaker at the prow of the dark sky. You get the idea. Schmutzie and Palinode are in bed.]

Palinode: Something just occurred to me.

Schmutzie: What’s that?

Palinode: I’ve figured out how to predict the future.

Schmutzie: You do not know how to predict the future.

Palinode: Totally. I’ve got it cased.

Schmutzie: Prove it.

Palinode: On July 23, 2012, I will receive a present.

Schmutzie: Of course you will. That’s your birthday.

Palinode: And when will that birthday happen?

Schmutzie: …

Palinode: That’s right. In the future. Quod erat BOOYAH.

Schmutzie: I thought of the best present for you the other day.

Palinode: Really? What was it?

Schmutzie: Well you’re not getting it now.