“A fictionalized account of the last days of Edgar Allan Poe’s life, in which the poet pursues a serial killer whose murders mirror those in the writer’s stories.” - from the imdb.com description of The Raven, starring John Cusack.
INTERIOR - DAY
A wretched, barely lit dwelling in a burning hot American desert. A combination of a garage, a bachelor pad and an improvised tin hut. Inside its dark recesses, junk lies jumbled everywhere. Plates of abandoned food and open cartons of Chinese take-out crowd every flat surface. Save for a small area with neatly piled stacks of DVDs and an immaculate flat-screen television, chaos reigns.
MCTEIGUE, a former film director, sits in the chair in front of the television. He thumbs the remote listlessly, occasionally swigging from a bottle of Jack Daniels.
The door opens. Light spills in and hits McTeigue’s grizzled face. He flinches and looks away.
A PRODUCER enters, dressed in a slim-fitting suit with a slightly oily sheen.
PRODUCER: You’re a hard man to find, Mr. McTeigue.
MCTEIGUE: Well, I like it that way.
Swigs from the bottle.
Shut the door if you’re staying.
The Producer closes the door gently.
PRODUCER: I have a proposition for you. A film.
MCTEIGUE: And I have a proposition for you. The door.
PRODUCER: Hear me out, Mr. McTeigue. If you don’t like what I have to say, I’ll walk out the door and it will be the last you see of me.
MCTEIGUE: What a tragedy that’ll be.
PRODUCER: [still gracious] But I think you’ll like what you hear.
MCTEIGUE: That’s what the Wachowskis told me once.
PRODUCER: We have a boring-ass procedural script that David Caruso wouldn’t even touch for an episode for an episode of CSI Miami.
McTeigue takes another swig.
MCTEIGUE: I’m listening.
PRODUCER: It’s about a nutcase who’s reproducing the crimes of Edgar Allen Poe. I mean, that’s a pile of decade-old diapers in a hatchback, right? But then I thought -
MCTEIGUE & PRODUCER: - what if the script was actually about EDGAR ALLEN POE HIMSELF ohmygod ohmygod OHMYGOD.
McTeigue hands the bottle to the Producer. He takes a belt of the liquid. Then they join hands and jump up and down and up and down and make the worst movie of all time the end.