Dr. Manhattan Reviews Christopher Nolan

When not passively allowing massive disasters to devastate New York City, Dr. Manhattan enjoys sharing his thoughts on contemporary film


“It's the end of the movie. The top is spinning. Twenty seconds from now the audience is groaning. Now it's the middle of the film. The van is falling. They want to wake up. Too late. It's always too late”.

The Prestige

“The film hinges on Christian Bale playing two characters pretending to be one person. But already they are the same. They are Christian Bale. The atoms of each character are identical because they reside in the same body. The only atoms I liked in this film were the ones in Scarlett Johanson. I'm thinking of asking her out, or maybe creating a Scarlett Johanson to live with me on Alpha Centauri. Did you know that David Bowie is in this film? Sometimes I think he's the only person who really gets me”.


“I haven't watched this one yet, which means that I will never watch it. Wait, I'm seeing a few minutes of it at a friend's house. Why did he invite me over if he's just going to sit there getting high and watching cable? Now I am at his funeral and he still won't talk to me. I need to find cooler friends”.

The Dark Knight

“I am waiting in line to see The Dark Knight. It is an hour later and I am still in line. It's 2008. Will I ever get in to see this film? Now I am at the ticket counter but the movie is sold out. It's okay, it's Tuesday now and I'm back. The movie is sold out again and I am being arrested for indecent exposure. It's 2010 and I am watching it on Blu-ray. The resolution is outstanding. The franchise is restored. I won't tell anybody that Joel Schumacher is about to start making sequels again”.


“Well, that was disappointingly straightforward”.