concepts of toast

[Night. Too late for food. Too late for baked potatoes. Schmutzie and Palinode, protected by darkness, are having baked potatoes.]

Schmutzie: I'm craving toasted marshmallows.

Palinode: I'm craving marshmallow toast.

Schmutzie: What is that?

Palinode: That is the exact opposite of what you're craving.

Schmutzie: But what exactly is it?

Palinode: It's toast made of marshmallows.

Schmutzie: So we want the same thing.

Palinode: Not at all.

Schmutzie: Completely at all.

Palinode: Nuh-uh. You want to take a marshmallow and toast it. I want a piece of toast that's made of marshmallow.

Schmutzie: The final product would be the same. And it would taste awesome.

Palinode: Would you put cheese and pastrami on your toasted marshmallow?

Schmutzie: Um... no.

Palinode: But I'd put cheese and pastrami on mine because it's toast.

Schmutzie: You're changing the food. You can't win the argument by talking about cheese and deli meat.

Palinode: I'm just providing an example of the uses of my marshmallow toast. I'd put pastrami on mine.

Schmutzie: No you WOULDN'T, because marshmallow toast doesn't EXIST.

Palinode: I introduced pastrami as a substantive addition to my assumed marshmallow toast. QED.

Schmutzie: I'm holding a sharp knife.