handy new FAQ

Owing to the volumes of mail I get every day, some by post, some by e-, some by dragon, I’ve decided to put up an FAQ. But since it’s depressing for me to go through the questions and retype them, I’m just posting the answers. I’m sure that you questioners out there can pair up your question socket with my answer plug and create a current out of that.

    1. Frequently.

    2. No, she is not.

    3. Grothnar, The Dragon Beyond Time.

    4. Asbestos pants.

    5. Like an acorn with feet, actually.

    6. If I had ideas I’d be a successful novelist.

    7. Still like an acorn with feet, sorry.

    8. Jesus.

    9. Good question. He’s not really a big lizard or anything but a sapphire monster encircling the outer membrane of the universe. His incursions into realspace are difficult for humans to perceive, but in general his presence is responsible for all anxiety and some fellatio.

    10. A sprig of mistletoe. It doesn’t sound too nasty to me, but mistletoe is poisonous, and anyway I’m not a Norse god.

    11. Phobos, Deimos and Hidden Charlie.

    12. By dint of a shiv inserted carefully beneath the dermis.

    13. I remember polders and genever but not much else.

    14. Money.