Good old grade nine. You thought I looked like Prince, circa Parade. The truth was, I looked just enough like Prince for you in a blond-haired town. It must have taken me a year to get your shirt off. Do you have any idea of how much effort a fourteen year old boy has to go through to make something like that happen? Do you think there are magical shirt-removal elves that come in and do the work? No ma'am. Seriously, what do U think?
I bet if I'd worn Prince's new perfume, that would have done the trick immediately. I understand that it contains fabric-dissolving chemicals, which would have done a number on your polo top. I had only will and patience on my side.