fossil conflict


Lonely coelacanth in need of a good home

It's morning! You know who doesn't like morning? Hungover sods, that's who. Palinode and Schmutzie lounge in bed like the hungover sods they are.

Palinode: When we got together, people told me you were empathetic.

Schmutzie: Really?

Palinode: Would you describe yourself as empathetic?

Schmutzie: ...

Schmutzie: Why are you asking me this again?

Palinode: Because I still don't have a pet coelacanth.

Schmutzie: That is totally illegal!

Palinode: You say you have all this empathy, and yet you miss out on my need for a coelacanth to call my own.

Schmutzie: Empathy is not like being psychic.

Palinode: All our friends have been picking up on my coelacanth vibe. They've taken me aside and asked me point blank why we don't have one yet. What can I tell them?

Schmutzie: I'm not stopping you from getting a coelacanth.

Palinode: Oh, you're not stopping me. But you're not being proactive either. Where was my coelacanth last Christmas?

Schmutzie: I'm not getting you a coelacanth.

Palinode: I would have named it Irvine. It would have lived in the tub.

Schmutzie: It would have been gross.

Palinode: I don't really want a coelacanth, you know.

Schmutzie: Really.

Palinode: It's just that I feel so alive when we fight.

Lucky man strokes his pet coelacanth lovingly