horrific tales of spousal abuse #22

Afternoon in the PaliSchmutz household. Schmutzie in the bathtub, Palinode a' wandering by.

Schmutzie: Hey you?

Palinode: Yes?

Schmutzie: I don't know if you wanted to do anything right now -

Palinode: Uh-huh.

Schmutzie: - but I was thinking of cutting my hair and taking a bit of time before we went out or did anything else.

Palinode: Mmm. (deep breath, exhales slowly) Okay. That's fine with me - if you don't mind dealing with a punch to the gut.

Schmutzie: I can deal with a punch to the gut.

Palinode: Okay then. (raises fist, punches self in the stomach) OWW! AH! GOD! THE PAIN! (stumbles around the bathroom some) LORD, MAKE IT STOP! SWEET JESUS! (collapses against the wall)

Schmutzie: I think I dealt with that pretty well.

Palinode: Yes, you acquitted yourself handsomely.

Schmutzie: How'd the punch go for you?

Palinode: Hurts a bit. I think the cat witnessed the event.

Schmutzie: Just perpetuating the cycle.