On Tuesday I visited the studio, where my reenactment crew were filming a shipping disaster. The DOP thought I would fill in handily as an extra for the scene in which the military ship rams the wooden schooner amidships and slices it neatly in half. I should have looked closer at the call sheets. My role: Hapless Fisherman #5. My task as extra: sit up in bed with a horrified look on my face, get tossed onto the floor, and then get doused with gallon after gallon of ice cold water. As the certainty of my fate closes in, I let out a howl of despair, for my own life, for the lives of my family, for those of my sad brave crewmates destined to find their rest at the bottom of the Atlantic (I'm the one on the left).

Then one of the set dec people dumped a bucket of water on me.