revenge of the expositors

Hey folks. Through sources that I can't really reveal, I've managed to get hold of the new intro rollup text to Revenge of the Sith. Apparently George Lucas insisted on making the changes just prior to the film's release. Anyway, here it is:

Pursuant to subsection 22(c) of the Intergalactic Trade and Tariffs Act, clones have been declared a commodity and therefore subject to taxation like any other product. Clone war ships on a mission of destruction throughout the galaxy are held up in transit by orbital Galactic Customs Satellites, where they must process a myriad of vouchers and forms. Fiendish and multimonikered DARTH SIDIOUS, enraged by the burgeoning costs of combat, sends off streams of angry memos to the bureaucrats on Coruscant. The automated Galactic Customs agency, recently relocated to Tattoine as part of a cost-sharing planetary renewal government venture, responds by sending form 011f-3e (Exemption from Duty for Organic Commodities) but puts it on a non-hyperspace enabled vitrium transporter, which means that it will effectively take five years to arrive at Sidious' desk. The cunning Sith Lord hires a company of Jawa lawyers to argue that since each clone carries identical genetic material, then they should only have to pay duty once. Galactic Customs agrees, then charges Sidious such enormous duties that he goes into bankruptcy. The mysterious COUNT DOOKU leaps into the fray, taking out a lien against Sidius' property, thereby acquiring the clone army and all its effects. He sells off the clones to small mercenary armies dispersed across the galaxy and makes a killing. The war is ended! Long live Dooku! Then there's some extended folderol involving the Force and fighting for the fate of the universe. Yawn.

Personally I think it's a bit long, but it really captures the George Lucas spirit.