lessons i've learned

#1: At the intersection

Mr. Gasrabbas paused at the intersection on his way to work. At the very last moment he realized that he had been about to step out into traffic, so preoccupied was he with a presentation that he was scheduled to give later that day. He smiled to himself and watched a Nissan X-Trail whiz by, thinking how lucky he was. The wind from the vehicle's passing flapped his tie.

As the light measured out its time, though, Mr. Gasrabbas wondered just how lucky he'd been. Was it right to hold a job and lead a life that had, however briefly and in however small a manner, put his life at risk? What had he sacrificed over the years to arrive at this point, seemingly satisfied but so distracted that he had forgotten the safety - and the sanctity - of his own body. A fine sweat popped out on Mr. Gasrabbas' forehead. From now on, he told himself, things would be different.

Then a plane fell on him.

Moral: As a young man, Gasrabbas had worked at an aviation assembly plant. One morning, hungover and a bit coked up to combat the depressive effects of drink, he made a small but decisive riveting error on an aileron. It was that very plane which he had unconsciously sabotaged that fell on him. For true. The moral is not to do that.

#2: During prayer

Salko knelt at the pew and prayed quietly to the Lord, murmuring his devotions in the empty church. He whispered: "Our father, who art in heaven..."

The Lord interrupted: "Hey, is that a moustache you've grown?"

Salko said: "Where"?

Moral: Moustaches only grow atop the upper lip. Christians should be forearmed with this knowledge.