One day in the park I met Miley Cyrus’ tongue. Tongue, I said, where’s your body? Tongue hopped up on the bench next to me. We have an understanding, Tongue said. Sometimes I feel like seeing the world and she just wants to be quiet for an afternoon. Do you ever get that feeling? Tongue seemed to be reaching out for understanding. I could relate, having often felt like a necessary but unregarded part of my own life. Also, Tongue continued, do you have a piece of pie I could sit on? This bench tastes like ass.