list of thrones

10. metonymic thrones

9. iron thrones

8. silver or other precious metal thrones

7. ludic thrones

6. sensible thrones, with maybe a cushion, but a pretty nice cushion since it has to go with the throne

5. excessive or otherwise gaudy thrones, such as thrones with Christmas lights draped over them all damn year round

4. toilet thrones (actually just toilets)

3. thrones that look toilet-y but are in fact just thrones

2. any throne more than 20% off at Pete’s Liquidation Throne World off highway #11 next to the RV lot, if you pass the U-Haul depot you haven’t gone too far, everybody gets to the U-Hauls and thinks they’ve gone too far but they haven’t, just keep going

1. the last five of Aaron Sorkin’s thrones (they were “too small” and “you call that a throne? That’s a glorified hassock!”)