the popcorn robot

[Night. Quiet. No sound but the sixty-cycle hum of civilization. Schmutzie and Palinode sit there, stupefied by it all.]

Schmutzie: Gah.

[pause]

Schmutzie: GAAAH.

[pause]

Schmutzie: I want popcorn but I’m too lazy to get up.

[still with the pausing]

Schmutzie: I wish I had a popcorn robot.

Palinode: Hold on, is that a robot made of popcorn?

Schmutzie: No, it’s -

Palinode: Because that wouldn’t work at all.

Schmutzie: I don’t - 

Palinode: It would probably be made of kernels. And whenever it overheated, which would be always, all its components would puff up.

Schmutzie: That would be its superpower.

Palinode: And you’d have to watch out for squirrels.

Schmutzie: Squirrels would be all over my popcorn robot.

Palinode: A grand achievement, undone by squirrels.

[pause]

Palinode: I’m going to put this on my blog.

Schmutzie: NO, I WAS GOING TO DO THAT.

Palinode: I figured I’d better call dibs.