A Campaign Update from Your (Soon to be) Mayor of the Sea

Well hello everyone. This is quite the campaign so far. Initial response to my mayoral run has been extremely positive. Residents of the sea appreciate knowing that their voices will be heard come election day. Recently I delivered a rousing speech to a giant school of jellyfish, and while I’m not sure that they understood a word of my campaign platform and its plan for colony organism opportunities, at least they didn’t do anything weird or slimy. I’m tucking that one away in my locker of little triumphs.

Along with the many pleasant surprises, there have been challenges and definite teaching moments. First off, the sea is a lot saltier and rustier than I expected. Who knew that my fleet of campaign cars would corrode so quickly after failing to start underwater in the first place? Live and learn, I guess. It really is “a whole new world” down there.

To all you fish, polyps, aquatic mammals and shorebird allies who have volunteered your time and energy to my campaign, I say thank you. Your efforts are the best example of what the sea can be when we all get together and start swimming along the same current.

Don’t forget, Creatures of the Sea: you’re not just seafood, or suicidal whales, or gross things attached to a rock. You’re mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, offspring buds and small bits of particulate matter that I’m guessing are alive. And as long as you’re alive and not sea-dust or something, I will fight for your interests and make sure that we all have a place at that table we call the future.

I also appreciate the many barnacles that have been flooding into my office over the past weeks. I’m not sure if they’re constituents or some kind of sea-currency, so if someone could clear that up for me I’d very grateful.


I’m not joking. Those barnacles are making it impossible to get anything done. They even got inside the mimeograph machine somehow. Could someone clarify this barnacle situation ASAP?

Yours in Reef Justice,

The Palinode