Once upon a time Australia woke up with a severe case of indigestion. “My Alice Springs!” it groaned, falling out of a really, really big bed. “Gotta get some coffee,” muttered Australia, slipping a pair of warm Tanzanias over its Melbournes and lumbering towards the really, really gigantic kitchen.
“Coffee’s just going to make your stomach worse,” New Zealand called from the bed. “Can you make me a flat white?” “Shut up, New Zealand,” said Australia. “Shut up shut up shut up.” That was the start of Australia’s shitty day.