concepts of toast
Sunday, December 6, 2009 at 11:17PM [Night. Too late for food. Too late for baked potatoes. Schmutzie and Palinode, protected by darkness, are having baked potatoes.]
Schmutzie: I'm craving toasted marshmallows.
Palinode: I'm craving marshmallow toast.
Schmutzie: What is that?
Palinode: That is the exact opposite of what you're craving.
Schmutzie: But what exactly is it?
Palinode: It's toast made of marshmallows.
Schmutzie: So we want the same thing.
Palinode: Not at all.
Schmutzie: Completely at all.
Palinode: Nuh-uh. You want to take a marshmallow and toast it. I want a piece of toast that's made of marshmallow.
Schmutzie: The final product would be the same. And it would taste awesome.
Palinode: Would you put cheese and pastrami on your toasted marshmallow?
Schmutzie: Um... no.
Palinode: But I'd put cheese and pastrami on mine because it's toast.
Schmutzie: You're changing the food. You can't win the argument by talking about cheese and deli meat.
Palinode: I'm just providing an example of the uses of my marshmallow toast. I'd put pastrami on mine.
Schmutzie: No you WOULDN'T, because marshmallow toast doesn't EXIST.
Palinode: I introduced pastrami as a substantive addition to my assumed marshmallow toast. QED.
Schmutzie: I'm holding a sharp knife.
conversations 
Reader Comments (9)
THis is the jest of most of the conversations my husband and I have.
You guys rock.
Marshmallow toast could also be construed as toast with marshmallows in it much like raisin toast, which would provide that lovely sweet salty with pastrami.
@Mamalang - In which case, you don't even need to come live with us.
@Emma - We rock, the cats roll.
@dk - Toast with marshmallows in it? Look, I'm not saying that you've totally lost your grip on reality, but - no, that's what I'm saying. Actually, that sounds kind of good.
Hilarious. I love using nonsense logic to win arguments. If you confuse them enough victory is yours!
That is just too awesome.
I know - crunchy with just a bit of sweet. Sorta like you ;)
Don't let him get away with that shit, Schmutz. Dragging deli meat into it instead of leaving that in the past where it belongs.
@AmyMusings - Deli meat is a real and going concern. Any argument that doesn't use deli meat is lower in sodium but not nearly as enjoyable.