nonsensical and creepy pickup lines

Do I come here often?

If I could arrange the alphabet, I would be like unto God. No doubt I would eventually be punished for my hubris and bound to a rock somewhere for all eternity. So I guess what I’m saying is, would you wait for me?

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to crush every bone in your rockin’ hot body.

If you came in here with a knife and jumped on me and put your knee to my throat and cut out my beating heart and stuffed it in your purse and ran out again, I’d call the police because you’d have stolen my heart. No, but I’d be dead and unable to contact the authorities.

Excuse me. Are you a man? Because I don’t like men. I like women. I said I like women. I only ask because you seem nice but I can see your penis. Wait, that’s my penis I’m seeing. Looks like we’re both seeing my penis together. Do you think it's fate?

So, did I come here with friends or am I all by myself?

Hey, did you fall from Heaven? Because I have a script with me and I think God would be great in the lead.

Are you made of teak? That's a heavy but strong wood.

I have a hybrid bicycle.