#17 Bad Idea: How to Watch Monday Night Television

Christmas-week television, when it's not an endless retread of the same crappy Christmas specials fed to us for the last forty years or more, provides repeats of Thanskgiving-week television. Why are we getting the reheated leftovers of America's last holiday fed back to us? I don't know, but when Two and a Half Men starts up, there's only one way to prevent that show's patented anti-life equation from destroying your fragile human mind:

I made it myself out of a samosa container. The samosas were moist, steaming, delicious and potato-ey. Plus, by dint of the aluminum, they were guaranteed not be infected with alien transmissions that subjugate your will and turn you into a zombie slave of Charlie Sheen.

So what's the reason for the extended fin on the back? To make Two and a Half Men go by faster.