sweet nothing vs nothing sweet

From the bitter dry dregs of the long office afternoon. An email thread between Palinode and Schmutzie to show how well-suited they are to handle desk jobs.

Palinode says:

I miss you.

More on this story as it develops.

*

Schmutzie says:

I think I just threw up a little bit. (wink)

Will I know of the arrival of your [Amazon] order by a ticket in our mailbox?

*

Yes, the ticket in the mailbox should do the trick. I'm not sure that it will be there, but the Amazon package tracker said that my order had arrived in the city and was "out for delivery," which I take to be something like "out for justice" or "out for blood".

You threw up a little bit? Wink? I'm a little lost. Please explain why my declaration of missing you provokes barf and contraction of your eye sphincter.

*

It was saccharine, and I'm a heartless bitch. NO, I thought it was sweet. My [untyped noun]* keeps seeping out.

I may step out for a nip if the books aren't in the mailbox.

*

Sounds good. If you're out when I get home I'll curl up in a ball, hold the uncomprehending cats against my chest and wail out "She's gone, kitties! She's gone!" in between sobs, until you return.

*

That's healthy. I should try that.

*

You can try it out wherever you are. If you're out for a walk, you can clutch garbage cans or shrubs. Rend your clothes, or maybe just scream out for succor. Sweet succor, from the gods.

*

Can I post this on the internet?**

*I really don't know what she meant to type here. There are so many many possibilities.

**Too late. Mwaha.