a christmas eve conversation

[Christmas Eve. Christmas lights twinkling. Some snow outside. Schmutzie and Palinode are basking in the glow of the holidays. Palinode turns to Schmutzie.]

Palinode: How's the scar on my back looking? [because I had back surgery in November]

Schmutzie: Let's see... it's shaped like a square. Why is that?

Palinode: My surgery scar is square?

Schmutzie: No, that's a vertical stripe. I'm talking about your other scar.

Palinode: I have another scar? Where?

Schmutzie: It's just up and to the left of your surgical one.

Palinode: How long have I had it?

Schmutzie: I don't know. Lots of people have scars on their lower back.

[Pause]

Palinode: I guess that's where the aliens implant their chips.

Schmutzie: Of course...

Palinode: But I'm not talking about microchips. I'm talking about potato chips.

Schmutzie: The aliens implant potato chips in our bodies?

Palinode: The chips are just for starters. They kidnap us when they get a craving. Sometimes they implant Skittles, sometimes they harvest Funyuns.

Schmutzie: I had no idea.

Palinode: They have no infrastructure to produce or store their own junk food.

Schmutzie: So you're saying that we're nothing but snack food repositories for aliens.

Palinode: Exactly.

Schmutzie: Seems a bit cumbersome, just to get a snack.

Palinode: Oh, they've got a whole system.