the bobolink

Is it a weekend afternoon? Because nothing's going on in the house of Palinode and Schmutzie. She works on the computer, he reads World War Z.

Palinode: Something's been on my mind for a while now.

Schmutzie: What's that?

Palinode: How would you defend yourself, against the bobolink?

Schmutzie: 'The' bobolink? There's only one?

Palinode: If you found yourself under attack from the bobolink, what would you do?

Schmutzie: Drop to the ground and curl up into a ball.

Palinode: Hmm... I suppose.

Schmutzie: What's wrong with that?

Palinode: I guess that's one way to keep yourself from the claws and beak of the bobolink. But don't forget you'd be fighting in a confined space.

Schmutzie: I would?

Palinode: Sure, why not?

Schmutzie: What would you do when faced with 'the' bobolink?

Palinode: I would employ my mongoose.

Schmutzie: No.

Palinode: Against the bobolink.

Schmutzie: You don't have a mongoose.

Palinode: A mongoose would do well in a confined space.

Schmutzie: Mongeese are illegal in North America.

Palinode: But I need to fight the bobolink in a confined space.

Schmutzie: How about you keep to open spaces and avoid this bobolink altogether? You know, stop going to the confined space?

Palinode: But that's... where all my... crackers... are. I'm not buying new crackers.

Schmutzie: Look, I'll go in and get the crackers.

Palinode: Yeah, right.

Schmutzie: I'll flail my arms around like a flail. The flail may be the bobolink's natural enemy.

Palinode: And the second you reach for the crackers, the bobolink will have you.