the mystical randy newman knowledge conversation

Kitchen. A rare weekday morning with Schmutzie and the Palinode up at the same time.

Palinode: Hmmm. (Pauses, rubs his eyes) Ah luuuv LA... da na na naa na na naa na na naa, WE LOVE IT, da na na naa na na naa na na naa...

Schmutzie: What are you trying to sing?

Palinode: ...WE LOVE IT, da na na naa na na naa na naa...

Schmutzie: (Silence)

Palinode: Hey, you know what that song is?

Schmutzie: That McDonald's song? Da da da da daaa?

Palinode: No, it's I Love LA by Randy Newman.

Schmutzie: Oh.

Palinode: (singing)Look at that sumethin... Check out that stuff... it's... (brief pause for reorientation) Ah luuuuv LA, da na na naa...

Schmutzie: I don't know Randy Newman.

Palinode: Oh well. He doesn't know you either.

Schmutzie: That's not surprising.

Palinode: He's sitting at home right now singing "I don't know [Schmutzie]/ I don't know what she's doin'/ Don't know if she's a receptionist/ Or a draft pick Boston Bruin.

Schmutzie: I AM NOT A RECEPTIONIST!

Palinode: I didn't say you were a receptionist.

Schmutzie: I'm NOT a receptionist.

Palinode: I'm just singing Randy Newman's song about you where he's speculating on what you're doing. You're also not a Boston Bruin, but that doesn't stop him from wondering.

Schmutzie: Randy Newman doesn't know me.

Palinode: That's why he wrote that song about you.

Schmutzie: Randy Newman didn't write that song.

Palinode: Oh yeah? If he didn't write it, how come I know the lyrics?

Schmutzie: (Silence. The silence that comes from ignoring the conversation.)

Palinode: That's right. I just blew your mind. I messed with your head BIG TIME.