pants management

Evening as always. Schmutzie posed in the bathroom doorway, fetchingly backlit.

Palinode: Those are nice pants.

Schmutzie: Thank you.

Palinode: When did you get those pants? Those are great pants.

Schmutzie: I've had them for a while. (Demurely) They're slimming.

Palinode: (Resists urge to say, "They're sliming?", because he used to work for a guy who drank a Chinese herbal tea called, in a spectular example of Engrish packaging, 'Sliming Tea'.) They're effective.

Schmutzie: They do the job.

Palinode: They should be promoted.

Schmutzie: What do pants get promoted to?

Palinode: Oh... management.

Schmutzie: Administrative duties?

Palinode: Pants... management... yeah.

(Pause)

Palinode: That's the problem with the pants system. High-performing pants get promoted out of the field.

Schmutzie: Hence all the fuschia stirrup pants still in circulation.