freeze-dried fred, or worse

Sometimes I feel sorry for myself. And then I realize that some people have it way, way worse.


You can't hear them, but Barney's saying either 'Kill us now' or 'Suck your big dick for a glass of water'. Hard to tell, really. I honestly don't think I've ever seen anything as sad as that wasted, dessicated Barney, his tunic draped over his 90 pound frame, the whole terminating in those crazy feet-shoes. If you can have feet-shoes, why can't you have leg-pants to complete the illusion? Was there nothing in the budget for leg-pants? Or maybe some kind of labour problem had closed the leg-pant factory down. You'll note that Fred gets arm-sleeves, even if they're wrinkly as one of those horrible hairless dogs. Clearly he's the alpha male.

God, they look like they've been wandering in the desert for weeks. I bet they took a wrong turn on the way home from the theme park and somehow ended up in the Mojave. Unless, after the Flintstones was canceled in 1966, Fred and Barney ended up as homeless guys wandering the bright empty streets of Burbank, offering to degrade themselves for bit parts in low-rent cartoons. Only the New Fred & Barney show from 1979 (the one with the teenage Pebbles and Bam Bam) revived their careers, and that took a lot of casting couch action, if you know what I mean.

Why am I suddenly so fixated on the notion of Fred and Barney whoring themselves out? Does this say something about me or the ugly underside of the cartoon industry?

Am I onto something here - something explosive and true? Given my track record for ferreting out the truth, I'd have to say yes.