anti-intellectual property

The Kitchen. Brunchtime for Schmutzie and Palinode. Schmutzie pokes the turkey bacon, Palinode slices an avocado.

The toast pops.

Palinode: Damn.

Schmutzie: What?

Palinode: By Odin's hanging body! (This line was not actually spoken)

Schmutzie: What?

Palinode: I made an error with your toasted cheese and avocado sandwich.

Schmutzie: What happened?

Palinode: I underestimated the toasting time. Now you'll have cold toast.

Schmutzie: No worries. I'm going to broil the sandwich so the cheese melts.

Palinode: That sounds really good. But you should know that if you broil this sandwich, I will sue.

Schmutzie: You'll... what?

Palinode: I will sue.

Schmutzie: Sue? Sue who?

Palinode: Because I'm making this toasted cheese and avocado sandwich, it is my intellectual property. The license I'm granting you does not extend to further preparation beyond the application of condiments.

Schmutzie: A sandwich is not intellectual property.

Palinode: By removing the top slice of toast and placing the open-face sandwich into the oven, you are violating the end user license agreement by reverse engineering and then altering the sandwich.

Schmutzie: I'm going to throw some salt onto it as well.

Palinode: Your license authorizes salt.

Schmutzie: I need a shallow baking pan.

Palinode: You may also back up your sandwich onto your hard drive.

Schmutzie: I need a shallow baking pan to hit you with.

Palinode: I hate those Creative Commons baking pans. You can do anything with them.