Oskar's bathtub blues

If you're our cat, the home of anxiety and self-pity is the bathtub in our apartment. For the rest of us, it's the home of relaxation and scrubbing. But the bathtub is where our cat goes when it's time to yowl and cry over everything that it never got in its young life, every missed opportunity and lost toy mouse. Like Neely O' Hara smashing her dressing room mirror and crying out her own name in a fit of booze-addled despair, so Oskar launches his body into the tub and rakes his claws against the cold ceramic surfaces. Why does our bathtub outrage the cat? We keep it clean.

Geez.