Over the last year and a half I've written down enough of my conversations with Schmutzie that I've got a respectable mini-anthology going on. For those of you who like this sort of thing, here's a guide to the VERY BEST of the marital chitchat. And by very best I mean whatever I had.
The apple core incident
Topics include: fruit waste, starving children, unhealthy fixations
The creepy bargain
Topics include: parsimony, fish with bugs for tongues, disgust
Topics include: bird discomfort, bird pulverization
Time is a number if you read it right
Topics include: darkness, imprisoning me, all that I see, absolute horror
The invention of Chanklemas
Topics inlcude: deceiving children, sock abundance
Topics include: bird mutilation, bisons, kitchen tools
On the way to the Easter bash
Topics include: driving, talking, driving, talking, where's the goddamn party?
Topics include: I can't believe we had this conversation, I can't believe I wrote it down
Topics include: doughnuts, porn, fornication, speed, outbursts
Topics include: fire, mushy peas, rebreathers, Hull
The pie that satisfies
Topics include: fungus-bungus pizza, 'phone fingers', Basque food
Finishing the search
Topics include: novels, sudden comprehension, nudity
A peasant in the head
Topics include: hair, thatched roof cottage heads, peasants
Chickens are birds
Topics include: chickens are birds
Less talk, more action
Topics include: kissing, more kissing
Questions for study:
1. Why do you think the topic of mutilating or imitating birds comes up so often? Which do you imagine would be more fun?
2. What exactly is a fungus-bungus pizza? Discuss.
3. Please compare and contrast any two conversations. Please mention: theme, setting, mood, style, and tone. Due by end of period.
4. It's clear that the characters in these dialogues share a fascination with disgusting and inedible food. Just saying.
5. Would you say that the most significant conflict in these dialogues is Man vs. Puffin? Why or why not? And where's a clip art picture of a man punching a puffin when you want one?