coffee time... um... coffee time...um...

Yesterday at a local coffee house I saw a donation cup for the local cell of the Alzheimer's society. I began to imagine the Alzheimer's society as a terrorist network relying on the good will and loose change of coffee drinkers to advance their nefarious (but likely outdated) agenda. I figure that if you staff your cells with Alzheimer's patients, they'll never reveal any information when CSIS rounds them up and wheels them away. Better yet, they'll refer to their interrogators as "Uncle Pete" or "Father St. George". Whatever their agenda is (Free the Falangists!) I intend to fight it with meaningless italicization.



Like so:



Attention, Alzheimer terrorists attempting to conquer Prussia, Rhodesia and the Ottoman Empire! Stop what you're doing immediately and sit with your hands folded on the front steps of the burlesque house until the Doukhobors have passed safely through town. Then approach the constabulary and offer a full accounting of your childhoods! That is all.